My wife says she’d leave me for him and if she did I’d have no choice but to stoically wipe away a tear and ask Idris for a kiss before they rode off together
When I walk into the mall and see Christmas decorations up the day after Halloween, I feel the same way Hamlet did when his mom married his annoying uncle so shortly after his father’s death.
Thrift, thrift, Horatio! the Halloween Mars Bars/Did coldly furnish forth the Christmas stockings
“Hand in hand I guide you to the ocean, pulling you closer with each step until we reach her shore. We sink quietly into her waves knowing she’ll shield us from all danger. I wrap you in my arms as we descend into the sea, holding you tight, surrounding you with my love”
Megaatomicjellyfishcollector 